My Journey Through a Health Crisis (5)

What Can I Do?

I cannot tell you how many people I've talked to who have said, "If you need anything, please let me know" and "I am praying for you." At first I didn't have the foggiest idea what to ask for, but I've always been happy to hear when an authentic person says that they will pray for me and my family. In fact, I would take the prayer of a genuine soul over any worldly thing you could give me. What that translates to is very simple; I am in God's hands and your prayers matter.

Since my diagnosis I have learned quite a bit. One thing that became crystal clear from the beginning is that I am incapable of handling this situation on my own. I need my family. I need my friends. I need members of my church (past and present). I need doctors. I need nurses. I need a donor. I need God. We were made to be interdependent not independent. Trying to handle this on my own would be either ignorant, prideful or both. So, I am reaching out to all of you who care and saying, "help me."

What I have found is that most people have a deep desire to help but they do not know what to do. Lisa and I have talked about this on numerous occasions and have come to some conclusions. First off, we were in the same boat not long ago. We wanted to help people in need but really struggled to know what to do. I have to admit that in some circumstances our ignorance led to paralysis -- we did nothing. In other instances, as well-meaning as we were, we did the wrong thing. I am thankful to say that in some instances, we found some way to reach out and make a difference. Now that I have had time to consider our situation, I know what you can do to help.

1) Write Me - nothing brightens my day more than a card or letter of encouragement. I would absolutely love to know your thoughts, your prayers, and your insights. I am also very interested in your lives and what is going on. I would love to write you back and provide encouragement for you as well.

2) Write Lisa, Jordan and Katie - I have suffered in some ways emotionally and physically since my diagnosis, but nothing has had a more profound affect on me than seeing my family suffer. If you want to know what keeps me up at night, it is the feeling of powerlessness when I cannot be the friend at school for Katie and Jordan or I cannot be the person who consoles Lisa and allows her to pour her soul out. If you do nothing else, be there for my family. Fill our mailboxes to overflowing with cards and letters.

• To write to Jordan or send a college care package (you know college kids):

Jordan Doucette

Room 3G

Lawrenson Hall

Greeley, CO 80631

3) Be a Donor - since the beginning I wanted this illness to be a life altering gift to me and to people near and far. One way I know I can make a difference is by raising awareness of the need for bone marrow donors and blood donors -- I cannot survive, nor can people like me without donors (short of the miraculous of course). You can go to www.marrow.org and find out everything you need to know about being a marrow donor.

4) Help Me Arrange a Donor Event - I only have so much time and physical strength but one of my greatest desires right now is to put together a top notch event that encourages people to become donors, educates people, and raises funds to subsidize the costs to support the national marrow registry. At Yale University an event was held that led to 1400+ students being added to the registry (2009). They had a second event this year as well. This may sound absurd, but I'd like to work with you readers to put together an event that leads to 2010 people taking the step to become donors.

5) Pray - whether you believe in God or are willing to reach out to the possibility that there is a God, I covet your prayers (I think that is one thing I am allowed to covet). To this point I have had strength and courage beyond reason and I attribute it to the prayers of all of you. Keep it up!

6) Preparing Our Home - if I do find a donor, I will be in the hospital for 4 weeks or more. When I do go into the hospital, our home will need to be prepared for my return. The house must be cleaned thoroughly. This will involve:

• Cleaning carpets
• Cleaning surfaces
• Carpet removal and tile in our bathrooms
• Cleaning appliances (inside and out)
• Cleaning our ducts
• Ridding our home of unnecessary clutter and junk
• Ongoing cleaning of our home (Lisa is will need to arrange for assistance for a full year as I recover and cannot assist)

Many of these things we can do ourselves. Some of these things you may be able to help with. We need to get ourselves organized and have a plan when the "fun" begins.

7) Visit - if you aren't sick, I'd love to see you (1 or 2 people at a time). I know that Lisa and the kids would love to see you as well. My immune system is compromised right now so I don't get out much. Since I don't get out, my family often feels obliged to stay home with me (not necessary but they are so kind).

• Football Fans - come watch a Bronco game with me and talk smack about Fantasy football (yes Kyle, Mike, and Michelle -- bring it on!)
  
  
• Theologians, Philosophers, etc. - I love discussions that go deep. Drop by.
  
  
• Coffee Drinkers - now and then I like to get out and share a cup of coffee with a friend.
  
  
• Lunch Buddies - go out with Lisa or Katie and have some food and fellowship together.
  
  
• High School Friends - be there for Katie (games, lunch-time, school events, sleepovers, etc.)

I know I can count on all of you. Many of you have already come through in amazing ways. Some of you were waiting for permission but just didn't know what to do. Now you know.