My Journey Through a Health Crisis (4)

The Roller Coaster Ride

Two weeks ago, testing kits were sent to my brothers and sister to find out if any of them would be a good match for the stem cell transplant. Once they received their kits, they wasted no time getting tested and overnighting the kits back to Denver.

Testing can return preliminary results in as little as three days. What you find out is not whether you have matched anyone, but whether anyone has been eliminated. Apparently they test for six specific characteristics and you want to see a match on all six of them. All of us waited anxiously for news.

Last week Monday (8/26) was a long day. I started my chemotherapy, had blood drawn, and worked a full day. Early that evening we were winding down when the phone rang; it was Pat, a specialist assigned to guide me through the transplant process. We had been anxiously awaiting her call with the test results for my siblings. As it was explained to me, each of my siblings had a 1 in 4 chance of matching. If I understand statistics, that should mean that I have a 75% chance of matching one of them (1/4 + 1/4 + 1/4 = 3/4).

As soon as we knew it was Pat calling, Lisa and I quickly moved into our office, shut the door, and put the phone on speaker. I think my heart started to beat faster and harder as I listened to Pat. Pat gave us unexpected news -- none of my siblings were a match. In fact, my brother Steve was the closest match and he only matched 4 of the 6 criteria. Further, Pat explained that none of us would be a good match for any of the others. I immediately got very quiet as my wife began to ask a series of questions she had written down.

I don't really know how to explain my emotions at the time. In a way I guess I felt a sense of doom. During the last several weeks the majority of the news I heard was negative. Before hearing about the test results, I was hopeful that one of my siblings would be a good match --after all, the odds certainly seemed in my favor. When I heard that none of them matched, I began to wonder if the end result was a foregone conclusion. Luckily, the conversation with Pat was not all bad news.

There are multiple ways of getting bone marrow stem cells. You can get them from a relative, from the umbilical cords of new born babies, or from a donor on the national registry. Pat was good enough to search the list for potential matches prior to calling. She informed us that she had found several candidates and would begin the process of identifying a donor.

After getting off the phone with Pat, I called my parents. As we talked, my mother called my sister Shiela who subsequently called my brothers Steve and Bob. Everyone in the family took the news very hard.

My brother Steve and I exchanged emails the next day. I told Steve that I felt like God was pushing me inch by inch closer to a precipice and as he did he was asking me, "Do you trust me?" My answer, "Yes Lord, I do."

I haven't always been able to express to people the internal state that I am striving for. A young woman I know posted a facebook status that referenced lyrics from a song I really like. The song is called, While I'm Waiting, by John Waller. The song took on entirely new meaning in my current context.

Here is a link to the song if you would like to understand my inner world a little better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3b2jw1rjBc&feature=related

I have so much more I want to write, however, I felt like I needed to update all of you who have been waiting for news.