An Unexpected Visit

Like Hugging a Man of Steel!

Friday night I was prepared to spend alone.  Jordan had a church retreat, Katie was spending the weekend with cousins and Lisa provided transportation.  Earlier in the day I said goodbye to my sister Shiela and her husband Mark.  Mark was in town to deliver a presentation at the Colorado School of Mines and Shiela took advantage of the opportunity to visit.  We had such a great visit and it was hard to see them go.


Once the house was empty, I heated up some left overs and sat down on my favorite chair in front of the TV.  It must have been a long day because it didn't take long and I was asleep.  After a quick cat nap I sat around watching TV and looking forward to Lisa's return.  Around 7:00 PM the doorbell rang and I answered.  Standing on my front porch were three people; two I knew well, and one I knew from reputation alone.  The two I knew well were my good friends Cameron and Tracy Bodner.  The other visitor was James "Flex" Lewis, one of the top bodybuilders in the world.


I invited them in and Flex gave me a big hug.  We immediately began discussing my disease and how it has affected me.  We also discussed the dream that I would one day be healthy and able to compete one last time.  You might be wondering why I would ever push my body to the extremes that bodybuilding requires.  I will, but only with the blessings of my doctors and for a very specific purpose  -- I would love to show other people suffering from Myelodysplastic Syndrome (MDS) and Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML), that there is hope of recovery and potential for a very healthy future.

Believe to Achieve!

Flex listened and then said with a big smile, "Believe and achieve!"  We talked about many things, snapped several pictures, and Flex gave me signed copies of a photo and DVD (which I watched that night).

A Special Friday Night

When they finally had to go, I felt honored and encouraged.  I also had seen how a young man can be so far beyond his years in terms of maturity and compassion.  Finally, I was so thankful for the love and kindness Cameron and Tracy showed.  To even think of the idea to arrange the meeting, was simply wonderful.  I will remember the day for as long as I live.  It's not so much meeting a celebrity like a professional bodybuilder, as seeing the love and kindness poured out by three very special people.

Matthew 25:40

Close Encounters of the Dog Kind

I'll be taking a brief interlude from my series of posts about my Saturday trip to my old neighborhood. Today I want to talk about an encounter I had with a couple dogs on my daily walk.

Since my MDS diagnosis, my primary form of exercise is walking. I have several routes of varying distances to choose from. I choose my route based on time constraints, weather, and how I feel. Given the right circumstances I will walk 4-5 miles per day.

Yesterday I took my favorite route. I walk from my house to the Trails Recreation Center and back. Along the way I encounter many barking dogs. Normally the dogs are behind fences and no threat to me. However, when I was about 1/2 mile from my house, I came across two dogs that were loose along my path.

The first dog was small, timid, and no apparent threat to me. It peeked its head over a hill, barked at me, but kept its distance. It turns out that dog had a friend -- a far bigger and more aggressive friend. That dog came over the hill and immediately began trotting toward me. You may be thinking, 'the dog probably was just curious or wanting attention.' That may be true but consider my circumstances. I have a blood disease that has drastically lowered my platelet count. That means that if I am bitten and start to bleed, it can be difficult to stop the bleeding. In addition, I have lowered red blood cell counts. That means that my body is inefficient at transporting oxygen. Whenever, I do anything even moderately physical, I immediately go into oxygen deficit. So, if the dog was aggressive, I would only be capable of defending myself for a short time. Finally, my disease lowers my white blood cell counts. If I am bitten, the likelihood of infection is far higher. So, when I saw this dog moving rapidly toward me I felt the adrenaline surge and I immediately had to take some sort of action.

At the time I noticed the larger dog, it was probably 30-40 feet from me. I was walking along Orchard Road and there was a fair amount of traffic. I needed to create a reason for the dog to lose interest in me. I saw that the oncoming traffic was fairly close, but not so close that I couldn't dash to the median half way across the street. I knew that running from a dog wasn't the best way to deter an attack and might even encourage it, but I felt that there was another deterrent that might help -- the oncoming traffic. I dashed across the street to the median and looked back to see what the dog was doing. Thankfully, the dog had stopped right at the edge of the road and was indeed flustered by cars that slowed to a stop a few feet from where the dog was standing. Without delay, I checked the westbound traffic to see if it was safe to continue from the median to the other side of the street. I let a few cars pass and then continued on my way.

The two cars that had stopped were apparently concerned about the dogs. They parked, got out of their cars and tried to handle the situation. I'm not exactly sure what they did, I simply continued on my way, wondering what I might do if this happened again.

I spoke to my sister about the incident and she recommended two things; pepper pray and a 5-iron. So far I am equipped with pepper spray but I am most definitely considering something similar to a 5-iron as well.

If you have dogs, please don't let them run loose. There are kids, people like me, and others that really would rather not have a nasty encounter with a dog. I can tell you right now, if a dog shows anything I can construe as aggression, it's going to get ugly (and I dearly love dogs).

A Peaceful Saturday - Part II

Medema Park

Having had a good lunch I felt energized and ready to go. As I fired up the Explorer and pulled out of our driveway, I was cognizant of the fact that I had hardly driven in 3 months. With that in mind I told myself, 'drive carefully.' As I was leaving my neighborhood I couldn't help but take in the beautiful fall day. The sky was cloudless and an intense blue, and the trees were displaying amazing fall colors like proud peacocks. I took a deep breath, my soul whispered 'thank you' and I continued on my way.

My drive takes me west on Orchard Road, south on Parker, and then west again on Arapahoe. As I drive westward the Rockies are in fully view and standing out majestically against the cloudless Colorado sky. As I pass I-25 and Arapahoe I miss my friends at work. I have spent the last decade working with a group of people who have been like brothers and sisters to me. In fact, I have spent more time with them then just about anyone else. Like brothers and sisters we have had our disagreements, been angry with one another, celebrated great successes, commiserated failures, laughed incessantly, supported one another, played together, prayed together, and just about any other thing you can imagine. From the time I knew I had a serious health problem, my friends at work have been there.

Our Favorite Winter Sledding Spot

As I continue down Arapahoe Road, memories flood my mind; some of them good, some not so good. Before long I approach Holy Street and turn south toward Dry Creek Road. When I was a young man, this area was either part of a farmer's wheat field or undeveloped land. During the summer we played in the fields or traversed them to go to King Soopers, Skaggs, or other shops and restaurants. During the winter there was an unfinished reservoir that served as the perfect place to go sledding.

I turned right on Dry Creek Road and immediately saw Tony's Meats. Tony's has been in that location for many years. During my senior year of high school, I actually worked there. My job involved washing dishes, cleaning floors, cleaning the walk-in cooler, making sausage, making ground beef, and helping with deliveries. It was a physical job that didn't pay much; nonetheless, it was an opportunity to learn about hard work. Tony and the gang knew how to work hard and how to run a successful business.

I turned on Eudora Street and there in front of me was Medema Park, a site of many memories. I can't count the number of times I visited that park. We played baseball, basketball, and football there constantly. I recall one day playing basketball at the park. I was there with my brother Steve and my father. One of the girls who lived near the park, April Heinrichs, joined us. If you have paid attention to the sports world, you probably know that April became a world class soccer player, having played and coached the US Women's soccer team. Well, she was a great athlete as a kid too. In fact, she was so athletic and tough, that I made darn sure not to get on her bad side -- the outcome would have been ugly.

Our Home on Fairfax Court 

At the intersection of Eudora and Hinsdale I looked left and right. Not far to my right was the location of the first house we owned in Colorado. To the left was the apartment complex we lived in and further still our third home in the same neighborhood. About a mile or so from my current location is our second house on Dexter Street; the place of most of my childhood memories. I decided to turn right and head to Fairfax court. To this day I remember each of the families who lived on Fairfax court. Among the families were the Beckers, the Blishs, the Floyds, the McClouds, the Stankos (a kind older couple), and the Chaneys. 

[to be continued]

A Peaceful Saturday - Part I

A Sample of Colorado Fall Colors

Yesterday was an unusual day. Over the weekend, the University of Northern Colorado hosts a special weekend for family and friends. Jordan is in his freshmen year so we wanted to be there to enjoy the campus and time with him. There was one catch though -- I am neutropenic.

According to Wikipedia, neutropenia is a "hematological disorder characterized by an abnormally low number of neutrophils, the most important type of white blood cells in the blood. Neutrophils usually make up 50-70% of circulating white blood cells and serve as the primary defense against infections by destroying bacteria in the blood. Hence, patients with neutropenia are more susceptible to bacterial infections and, without prompt medical attention, the condition may become life-threatening."

Given this condition, I have to be very careful what I am exposed to. Among other things, I have to avoid contact with children or people who are sick. Unfortunately, public places like college campuses, do not allow me to control my environment. At the Family and Friends weekend at UNC, there are large numbers of people and the risk for me would be high. So my choice was clear; stay home and let Katie and Lisa join Jordan in Greeley.

That meant that I had an entire day to myself and not a great deal to do. I decided to make the best of it. After breakfast, I took a long walk. Walking is now my primary form of exercise. Since leaving the hospital, I have gradually increased the distance I walk each day. Yesterday, my morning walk was four miles long. I walked from my home to the Trails Recreation Center and back. The weather was absolutely beautiful and I enjoyed every moment in the sun and cool air.

Neighborhood Trees

As my walk ended, I crested a hill and approached my house. Outside I saw my neighbors Andy and Tom busy doing yard work. Andy's yard was freshly mowed and trimmed. I looked at my yard and noticed it was also freshly mowed and trimmed. I knew immediately what had happened -- Andy had mowed my yard. I thanked Andy for his kindness and Tom crossed the street to join us. A couple weeks earlier, Tom had volunteered to blow out my sprinklers when he did his. By doing this, he would save me $60. Tom let me know that he planned on doing that on Sunday. After many thank yous, I left my good friends and entered the house. I can't tell you how blessed I felt. My neighbors consistently practice something that Jesus called his followers to; love your neighbor as yourself.


My walk had really sapped my strength so I needed to eat. I heated up some leftovers pasta and chicken, and sipped Gatorade. During my walk I contemplated what I might do next. I decided to take a drive back to my old stomping grounds and reflect on my early years.

The drive from my house to my old neighborhood takes about 15-20 minutes. I currently live in the southern most part of Aurora and grew up in eastern Littleton. Getting out of the house and having some freedom felt good. On most days I spend the majority of my time in the house. My great escapes include trips to the doctor's office and daily walks. Not exactly an exciting existence.

[ to be continued ]

Good News

In the Midst of Trials There is Good News

During the last 2 1/2 weeks much has happened. I have most certainly undergone some trials, but also there has been some very good news.

1) I found out that I not only had one perfect match but two! Of those two, the chosen donor matches me on 10 of of 10 critical criteria (HLA antigens), has the same blood type (B- which is rare) and is CMV- like me. I couldn't ask for a better match. God is good!

2) My dates for preparation and the transplant have been set! That is terrific news. My BMT Coordinator has confirmed the dates. God is good!

3) I have undergone many tests and they all came out positive. They have checked my heart, brain, lungs, and abdominal organs. Everything looks good! God is good!

4) I had to spend some time in the hospital and during that time I learned a great deal about how to manage myself. I have to eat. I have to get up and exercise. I have to work closely with the doctors and nurses. I have to make every effort to get sleep. I need to keep a positive attitude. My hospital stay was like a pre-transplant bootcamp. God is good!

5) I was struggling with a persistent fever and one night I felt convicted that I needed to pray with Lisa and ask specifically for healing. I also asked my father to pray for the same things. That night I saw the last of my fever and it hasn't returned since. God is good!

6) Well before I knew about my illness, I had been crying out to God for change in my life. I wanted to be transformed, know him better, and see his work -- these things are all happening. I feel like God has taken my illness and used it to not only transform me but many people around me. God is good!

There are so many circumstances that have come together in wonderful ways. There are so many people who have been there for me and my family. My greatest challenge is to see the amazing things God is doing, believe that He is going to get me through this, and praise Him so everyone can hear and see.

So, today you hear and see. All of the prayers that have been lifted up on my behalf have been heard. God is clearly at work.

I would like all of you to continue to pray. Pray that I would remain healthy and that the transplant process and the recovery afterwards will go well.

My Journey Through A Health Crisis (6)

Trouble has Arrived

A couple weeks ago I told my oncologist that I was amazed that I hadn't gotten sick despite my poor white blood cell counts. He said, "don't get cocky." I responded, "No way. I am trying to be very careful. If anything, I may be a bit paranoid."

Unfortunately, my string of luck came to an abrupt end. Either I failed in some detail or the inevitable occurred. On September 18th and 19th I was feeling very tired and had the sense my body was trying to fight something off. On September 20th, things began to degrade quickly.

When I got up, I had a nasty headache. Lisa got me a couple Tylenol and I felt better rather quickly. I took a walk to the local Starbucks, purchased a Grande Coffee and headed back home to start the business day. I got some wonderful news first thing that morning from my bone marrow coordinator -- I not only had one perfect match but two! I was so elated and feeling blessed beyond my wildest imagination.

As I worked, I felt cruddy but I was riding on the high that I had a donor. As I worked on my software project, Lisa prepared the house for visitors. Katie was throwing an "Orange Party." Orange is the color for Leukemia. Katie's idea was to have her friends color a strip of their hair orange in support of me and other people suffering from leukemia. They had orange cupcakes, and orange ribbons for their hair. Their was a bowl full of LiveStrong bracelets for anyone who wanted one. A sweet friend of mine, Marissa Mentz, was willing to do all of the hair coloring for free.

As the party drew closer I headed upstairs to bed -- I could sense that I was getting sick, and it was moving rapidly. If my temperature reaches 100.4, I have been instructed to go directly to the emergency room. I began taking my temperature every few minutes. Steadily my temperature increased and eventually reached the magic number. Just to be sure, I used another thermometer and the fever was confirmed.

I put on some clothes (chilling badly), and headed downstairs to talk to Lisa. People were just arriving for the party and I needed to be taken to the emergency room. My sister-in-law Linda volunteered to take me and on arrival I was admitted quickly. I was put in a cool room, hooked up to a machine that could monitor blood pressure, O2 levels, and pulse. I remained uncovered and shivered uncontrollably as a nurse prepared an IV. After some difficulties, the nurse was able to get an IV in draw blood for cultures, and run fluids. As these things occurred, my body shook. Finally, the nurse was able to cover me up and supply me with a substantial dose of Tylenol. For some unknown reason, I was also suffering from severe abdominal cramps. After a couple hours, the cramps disappeared and never returned. The doctor who evaluated me took blood for cultures, a urine sample, and administered a strong anti-biotic intravenously (Levaquin).

After several hours in the emergency room, my temperature fell and I was sent home. I felt confident that we had addressed the problem and I was going to feel fine. I was wrong -- very wrong. I had only experienced the tip of the iceberg. In the days ahead, I would be pushed to my physical, mental, and emotional limits.

My Journey Through a Health Crisis (5)

What Can I Do?

I cannot tell you how many people I've talked to who have said, "If you need anything, please let me know" and "I am praying for you." At first I didn't have the foggiest idea what to ask for, but I've always been happy to hear when an authentic person says that they will pray for me and my family. In fact, I would take the prayer of a genuine soul over any worldly thing you could give me. What that translates to is very simple; I am in God's hands and your prayers matter.

Since my diagnosis I have learned quite a bit. One thing that became crystal clear from the beginning is that I am incapable of handling this situation on my own. I need my family. I need my friends. I need members of my church (past and present). I need doctors. I need nurses. I need a donor. I need God. We were made to be interdependent not independent. Trying to handle this on my own would be either ignorant, prideful or both. So, I am reaching out to all of you who care and saying, "help me."

What I have found is that most people have a deep desire to help but they do not know what to do. Lisa and I have talked about this on numerous occasions and have come to some conclusions. First off, we were in the same boat not long ago. We wanted to help people in need but really struggled to know what to do. I have to admit that in some circumstances our ignorance led to paralysis -- we did nothing. In other instances, as well-meaning as we were, we did the wrong thing. I am thankful to say that in some instances, we found some way to reach out and make a difference. Now that I have had time to consider our situation, I know what you can do to help.

1) Write Me - nothing brightens my day more than a card or letter of encouragement. I would absolutely love to know your thoughts, your prayers, and your insights. I am also very interested in your lives and what is going on. I would love to write you back and provide encouragement for you as well.

2) Write Lisa, Jordan and Katie - I have suffered in some ways emotionally and physically since my diagnosis, but nothing has had a more profound affect on me than seeing my family suffer. If you want to know what keeps me up at night, it is the feeling of powerlessness when I cannot be the friend at school for Katie and Jordan or I cannot be the person who consoles Lisa and allows her to pour her soul out. If you do nothing else, be there for my family. Fill our mailboxes to overflowing with cards and letters.

• To write to Jordan or send a college care package (you know college kids):

Jordan Doucette

Room 3G

Lawrenson Hall

Greeley, CO 80631

3) Be a Donor - since the beginning I wanted this illness to be a life altering gift to me and to people near and far. One way I know I can make a difference is by raising awareness of the need for bone marrow donors and blood donors -- I cannot survive, nor can people like me without donors (short of the miraculous of course). You can go to www.marrow.org and find out everything you need to know about being a marrow donor.

4) Help Me Arrange a Donor Event - I only have so much time and physical strength but one of my greatest desires right now is to put together a top notch event that encourages people to become donors, educates people, and raises funds to subsidize the costs to support the national marrow registry. At Yale University an event was held that led to 1400+ students being added to the registry (2009). They had a second event this year as well. This may sound absurd, but I'd like to work with you readers to put together an event that leads to 2010 people taking the step to become donors.

5) Pray - whether you believe in God or are willing to reach out to the possibility that there is a God, I covet your prayers (I think that is one thing I am allowed to covet). To this point I have had strength and courage beyond reason and I attribute it to the prayers of all of you. Keep it up!

6) Preparing Our Home - if I do find a donor, I will be in the hospital for 4 weeks or more. When I do go into the hospital, our home will need to be prepared for my return. The house must be cleaned thoroughly. This will involve:

• Cleaning carpets
• Cleaning surfaces
• Carpet removal and tile in our bathrooms
• Cleaning appliances (inside and out)
• Cleaning our ducts
• Ridding our home of unnecessary clutter and junk
• Ongoing cleaning of our home (Lisa is will need to arrange for assistance for a full year as I recover and cannot assist)

Many of these things we can do ourselves. Some of these things you may be able to help with. We need to get ourselves organized and have a plan when the "fun" begins.

7) Visit - if you aren't sick, I'd love to see you (1 or 2 people at a time). I know that Lisa and the kids would love to see you as well. My immune system is compromised right now so I don't get out much. Since I don't get out, my family often feels obliged to stay home with me (not necessary but they are so kind).

• Football Fans - come watch a Bronco game with me and talk smack about Fantasy football (yes Kyle, Mike, and Michelle -- bring it on!)
  
  
• Theologians, Philosophers, etc. - I love discussions that go deep. Drop by.
  
  
• Coffee Drinkers - now and then I like to get out and share a cup of coffee with a friend.
  
  
• Lunch Buddies - go out with Lisa or Katie and have some food and fellowship together.
  
  
• High School Friends - be there for Katie (games, lunch-time, school events, sleepovers, etc.)

I know I can count on all of you. Many of you have already come through in amazing ways. Some of you were waiting for permission but just didn't know what to do. Now you know.